“I Wish He Had Hit Me”: Female Survivors’ Retrospective Insights Into Relationships With Male Partners Who Attempted to Kill Them

Objective: Intimate partner homicide (IPH) has been scarcely studied. Research on the relationship dynamics between the perpetrator and the victim is particularly limited due to the reliance on national data sets, where information is often incomplete, and to the absence of the victim’s perspective. Inclusion of the voices of attempted-IPH survivors can enhance the understanding of IPH dynamics and the nuances of the perpetrator–victim relationship. Thus, the aim of this study was to explore how women who had survived an attempted homicide by their male partners retrospectively perceived their relationship with the perpetrator prior to the homicide attempt, using coercive control as a guiding theoretical framework for analyzing these experiences. Method: Interpretative phenomenological analysis methodology was used to conduct in-depth, semistructured interviews with 14 participants, all women who had survived an attempted IPH. The interviews were based on an interview guide, which facilitated a detailed exploration of their lived experiences, allowing the researcher to capture each survivor’s nuanced and personal insights. Results: Three themes emerged from the participants’ narratives, addressing their retrospective perspective of the relationship dynamics: (1) failure to recognize violence in the relationship, (2) precarious and tumultuous relationship dynamics, and (3) dependency as the driving force in the relationship. Conclusions: The study findings indicate that IPH may play a significant part in an ongoing process of escalating coercive and controlling behaviors. Thus, recognizing and addressing the subtle, insidious nature of coercive control in intimate partner relationships is crucial for effective intervention and support.